he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
