I got chris browned last night
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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