Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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