I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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