Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
