I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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