She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize