I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
only you would photoshop your dick
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
