we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
