We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
