Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
