The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
