Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
