you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
