Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize