Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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