We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
