Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
