thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
