with your own penis?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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