I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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