Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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