we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize