i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
