We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my sisters under your porch take her home
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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