so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
