"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
