i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
