cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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