you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
