i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
