How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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