We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We are all done wearing pants today
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
