I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
birth control should be required to get into college
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
