This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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