I want to have your abortion
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize