Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
bring money and cleavage
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
