I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We left the knife in your bed.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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