the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
