There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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