1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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