Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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