He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
