It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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