i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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