whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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