Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
