Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
