we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
