Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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