Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
