He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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