No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
