it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
