hell yes lets make some ravioli
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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