I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
do herpes really smell.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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