ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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