Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
