we made out on top of his cat.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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