how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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