I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize