was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
